18 TV Shows: Do NOT Watch For Netflix And Chill

When it comes to Netflix n’ chill, you’ve got to be careful with what you. There are a few reasons you might want to avoid certain shows when trying to hook upNetflix with a potential boo. Reason #1 that the show is absolutely so good that the power of the binge has more appeal than any chillin’ ever could and you wind up staying up all night together… watching TV nothing else.

Reason #2: You’re watching something that’s so unpredictable you may wind up watching something so off-putting (either sad, scary or disturbing) that you couldn’t possibly ~get in the mood~ after watching something so dark. No really, it happens. TRUST. We got your back, though. Just be sure to avoid these shows during your next Netflix n’ chill date and you’ll be in the clear. (But watch them on your own time, girl! They’re seriously good shows.)

18. Parenthood

The Bravermans are a family you strive to be a part of. They’re so connected and full of heart, but there’s also a lot of heartbreak going on when it comes to Parenthood that just doesn’t scream “hook up material.” From dealing with deadbeat dads to going through breast cancer, every episode called for at least one box of tissues. Can you imagine trying to get down while simultaneously crying over a show? Yeah, we didn’t think so. Save Parenthood for your own time.

17. The Ranch

Yes, Ashton Kutcher can turn on almost anyone but the dude that plays his dad? He’s a stereotypical dude from the country you can believe voted for #45. That alone would turn anyone off. Yup, even those looking at Ashton Kutcher. While we’d love to pretend this was just some weird That ’70s Show spinoff, we just can’t. Not when getting lucky is on the line. In fact, just watch That ’70s Show instead (great for chillin’).

16. 13 Reasons Why

You know what? Teen suicide is never something you want to watch, hell even talk about, during Netflix n’ chill. That’s basically the only reason 13 Reasons Why is a no go. If you’re looking for all that teen drama but without the Hannah Baker end, then take a chance on something like Gossip Girl instead. With not only suicide but bullying, sexual assault and self-harm, this should spike to the top of your ‘do not watch’ list when bae is coming over.

15. The People V. O.J. Simpson

The reality of the crime is enough to make this a no-no for getting your chill on. Another reason though? This is an insanely addictive show. It was so well-written and performed. You know how it’s going to end and is still sucked in. You would rather watch Sarah Paulson and Sterling K. Brown slay than get laid and since your priority is probably the latter during a Netflix n’ chill session, you better steer clear. Trade this Sarah Paulson in for the one on American Horror Story: Hotel instead.

14. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

We’ve given you a lot of downers. Which of course, who wants to chill when they’re either enthralled in a murder case or a family drama? We get it. Here, though, we’re telling you not to watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt because of the complete opposite! You’ll be giggling way too much to Tituss Burgess‘s one-liners to even concentrate on anything but the show.

13. Maron

Maron may be about a comic but it can be downright depressing. When he’s not stressing about his cats, his self-deprecation is just too much. You don’t want those negative vibes intruding your pleasure zone. We’d give you a recommendation but it seems like almost every show about a stand up comedian falls under the pretty f*cking depressing category so take ’em all off the list.

12. Fuller House

This is like making out to Sesame Street. Fuller House is one of the most wholesome shows out right now. They may allude to the Tanner women and Kimmy Gibbler as having grown relations, but it’s still Fuller House; cheesy as can be. It’s more fitting to do arts and crafts with your kids while this is on than — you know — “chill.”

11. Real Rob

We shouldn’t even have to tell you why. Watching Rob Schnieder for too long may make your libido drop to an all-time low and possibly never recover. Just do yourself a favor and never think Real Rob is a good idea for Netflix n’ chill situations, or any situations ever for that matter.

10. Bates Motel

Umm, yeah. We’re going to have to vote against any show where the main character is into their mom. That’s just creepy, weird and yup — a definite no from us on the sexiness scale. As it should be for you…?! Toss Bates Motel to the side and put on MTV’s Scream in its place.

9. Santa Clarita Diet

Timothy Olyphant and Drew Barrymore are a HOT couple. That’s a fact and we’d love to watch them together in anything. Except Santa Clarita Diet when we’re about to do some adult things. Drew’s character eats way too many people after mysteriously turning into a modern-day zombie for us to stomach. In fact, skip any and all zombie related shows for Netflix n’ chill time and stick to that vampire sh*t. It’s much hotter.

8. Love

This generation isn’t the greatest when it comes to romance. Love depicts that in all of its dysfunctional glory. Not the best show to put on when you’re with someone in any quasi-romantic setting, even just a hookup situation. There’s too much reality in Love that’ll make you both question what TF you’re doing together in the first place.

7. Forensic Files Collection

This is not a show for Netflix n’ chill. This is a show that you put on and binge when you’re home for the holidays with your mom and a bottle (or two) of wine. We all may be obsessed with true crime ATM, but nothing turns a person off like hearing real-life stories of evil people literally murdering and raping people. It’s true that you won’t be sleeping that night … but not for a good reason.

6. Mindhunter

Another true crime fav here that comes highly recommended by many. One of the newest additions to the Netflix family, Mindhunter looks into the brains of some of the most notorial serial killers who’ve done some of the most despicable acts. It’s creepy to the freaking max! You may want to hold each other during this show, but that’s about it. You’ll be way too into how things unfold to look away.

5. The Defenders

Sometimes it is better to leave people separated. While all of the Marvel shows on Netflix are great on their own, putting them together was a total bore. Put The Defenders on and you’re going to be Netflix-and-napping real quick. It’s better to watch all of their shows individually instead.

4. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

A show that deals with a new sexual assault crime every episode may kill the mood. I mean, that’s just the honest truth. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit isn’t for the faint of heart, and it isn’t for a night of grown-up decisions. If you’re looking to stick with a cop show, try Brooklyn Nine-Nine over on Hulu instead. It’s a funny alternative that will allow for much-needed chill breaks.

3. Black Mirror

If you’ve already watched the episode of Black Mirror you’re about to embark on, this may be okay. Otherwise stay away from any unknown episodes. This is like The Twilight Zone with a dark, technological twist and sometime the twist is too dark for a hookup sesh i.e. a politician being blackmailed into having sex with a pig, pedophilia, etc.
There’s an episode or two that’s safe for a Netflix n’ chill, so you can try “San Junipero” — it’s truly the only one I say with certainty is safe.

2. Master of None

A show like Master of None deserves more than to be the background of your makeout session. An award-winning hit, you will be better off taking in every part of this show instead of hitting play and ignoring. Plus, some of the more romantic themes may make it a bit awkward to watch with a casual hookup. If you want Aziz Ansari, then put on Parks and Recreation instead. He’s hilarious in both, but with Parks at least you get dad bod, Chris Pratt, too.

1. Stranger Things

Oh yeah, like anyone cares about anything else going on around them when Stranger Things is on. There is no way you want to get down when you’ve got to figure out what the heck is going on in the Upside Down.
Tongue twisters aside, most of us would probably rather spend a Saturday night watching this show rather than hanging out with a rando, which is absolutely why you shouldn’t combine the two.

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