14 Celebs Who Have Too Much Money For Their Own Good

So last night was Jay Leno‘s final night on The Tonight Showwhich he tearfully left after twenty-two years and one brief hiatus, which he swiftly ended by totally dicking over Conan O’Brien. Surrounded by luminaries like Kim Kardashian(‘s ass) and Jack Black, Jay said goodbye to his life in the spotlight and hurried home to swim in his pile of money and count his cars.

Because that’s the thing about Jay — he has a shit-ton of cars. Like, way more cars than you’re even thinking. Whatever number of cars you’re imagining he has, he probably has like three or four times that. It comes out to about 190 vehicles in total, around 100 of which are cars that he likes to diddle around with on the weekend in whatever sort of Garage Mansion he’s currently residing in.

It’s cute that he has a hobby, but that’s too many, right? There comes a point where you get too much money and things start to rage out of control, and soon you’re just gobbling up every car you see, and running through your crowded garage in a daze, honking happily and running your hands over leather interiors.

Because let’s face it, guys. There is such a thing as too much money. And if you don’t believe me, take it from these celebrities who are proving it all too true every day of the week.

14. Jay Leno

Estimated Net Worth: $350 million

A car for every day of the week I will accept. I GUESS. Gotta mix things up, y’know? But once you get more than that, it goes straight to your head and you drastically overstay your welcome on a late night talk show. (Just a hypothetical situation, you understand.)

13. Oprah

Estimated Net Worth: $2.9 billion

Honestly, I’m still not convinced that Oprah doesn’t just own Chicago. You can’t even take her off the air, because she’ll just buy a television network and be on it 24/7.

12. Mitt Romney

Estimated Net Worth: $250 million

And for his next trick, Mitt will alienate the electorate by not knowing how many houses he actually owns. (Although to be fair, he does know that he owns a dancing horse that went to the Olympics.)

11. Madonna

Estimated Net Worth: $1 billion

When you’re fifty-five years old and sporting a solid gold grill with diamonds in it, that should be an indicator that it’s time to pump the brakes on earning money and maybe go into retirement. But Madonna can’t stop won’t stop until she can physically buy eternal youth. Keep at it, lady!

10. Simon Cowell

Estimated Net Worth: $400 million

I guess when you own every single talent show that finds its way to television and invent the money machine that is One Direction, you start to think it’s okay to wear sunglasses indoors, keep yourself flush in deep Vs, and put sperm in the wife of your best friend. That all adds up.

9. Jay Z and Beyonce

Estimated Net Worth: $850 million

Remember that thing where their daughter Blue Ivy has a nursery at the Barclay’s Center and Jay bought Bey an island? TOO MUCH.

8. Ryan Seacrest

Estimated Net Worth: $250 million

Madonna probably wants to talk to Ryan, actually, because he seems to have located the fountain of youth. Must be nice to be so rich that when you and a (rumored) contracted girlfriend split, you can afford to just throw a break-up mansion her way.

7. Courteney Cox

Estimated Net Worth: $75 million

Her numbers might not be up quite as high as the rest of the group, but just think how wonderful Courteney’s face would look if she had slightly less money and couldn’t afford to get a new surgery approximately every day.

6. Johnny Depp

Estimated Net Worth: $350 million

Johnny also owns his own island, and is so filled to the brim with money that he has a gun collection, a bug collection, and a fake mustache collection. I guess in retrospect it’s still better than cars, right?

5. Lena Dunham

Estimated Net Worth: $10 million

Again, doesn’t sound like that much — until she starts trying to be relatable in Girlsand fails utterly. Your money’s getting in the way of your art, gal.

4. Mariah Carey

Estimated Net Worth: $510 million

On some level, you have to respect a woman who’s able to pay someone to follow her around with an umbrella over her head and catch her gum in their hand when she’s ready to spit it out. But on the other hand — no you don’t at all because that’s absurd.

3. Michael Jackson

Estimated Net Worth: $600 million

I mean all due respect, because the guy’s dead, but he had a Peter Pan themed amusement park at his house. And he bought himself a new face. And he used to pay a doctor to essentially euthanize him every night and then wake him up in the morning. There is such a thing as too much money.

2. Justin Bieber

Estimated Net Worth: $160 million

Do I even need to explain this one? The kid has built himself an insulated bubble of money, and every time he goes outside of it, which is a lot, he gets arrested. I think he’s so rich he forgot what real life is.

1. Jerry Seinfeld

Estimated Net Worth: $800 million

I think making a ton of money in comedy is really dangerous, because it distances you from the things you found funny in the first place and makes you unlikely to be able to connect to your audiences in the way you used to. Cough cough Jerry.

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