18 Reasons We All Want To Be Sabrina The Teenage Witch

The late 1990s and early 2000s were a pretty epic time for TV shows. It could have actually been super awkward given the ending of one decade and the start of the ~*future*~ thanks to the turn of the century. Instead, we had classics like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Powerpuff Girls and The Amanda Show. And we also had Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch was pure magic. And that was saying something considering we had Harry Potter fever starting around the same time. Sabrina, who was played by Melissa Joan Hart, may not have been the coolest biotch on the block, but she was the best witch on the block in our eyes. Every episode we wished that we could be her, even if it was just for a day. In fact, over 10 years after the show wrapped, we still want to be Sabs.

Now, with talk of Sabrina the Teenage Witch coming to The CW‘s Riverdale — and possibly even getting a show of her own — we’re totally reminded of all the reasons why we all wanted (and still want) to be Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

1. She was a witch. Duh.

Yeah, it’s obvious, but it needs to be said. Okay, technically Sabrina was a witch in training, but that’s still way cooler than being just some regular old non-magical person. She might have been learning spells and they might have had a tendency to go wrong, but that’s a lot more exciting than only being able to read about them. Sigh.

2. She had the coolest talking cat.

Cat lovers will agree that all cats are awesome whether they’re black, brown, red, white, or some combination. And non-talking cats are still just as squeal-inducing as talking ones. That being said, Salem is still in a league of his own.
If we’re getting technical, he’s not really a cat. He’s a 500-year-old warlock who tried to take over the world and was turned into a cat as punishment. Ummmm, who wouldn’t want to have a “cat” like that in their life? Especially if said cat is adorable with black fur and green eyes, loves to eat, and frequently dresses up in the best outfits. He was like, the OG Grumpy Cat.

3. Harvey was adorbs.

Awwwww, Harvey. Harvey, played by Nate Richert, was super cute, but he was even better when he was with Sabrina. The two were #relationshipgoals before we even had Twitter, hashtags and the word bae. Everything was cute about him from that expertly coiffed feathered hair to that surprising piercing on his upper ear. His last name, Kinkle, was even so cute. And remember when he gave Sabrina that bracelet that said, “I dig Sabrina”? All the feels.

4. Her 16th birthday was way better than ours.

We realized well before our 16th birthday parties that not all Sweet Sixteen bashes look like they do on TV. As addictive as MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 is, we have to admit that we would rather had our birthdays turn out like Sabrina’s than those spoiled teens. Anyone with enough money can get a customized Barbie pink convertible, but not everyone finds out on their birthday that they’re actually a witch. All of the money in the world can’t give you magical powers.

5. Her aunts were hilarious.

Aunts have a reputation for being cool, but Sabrina’s aunts, Aunt Zelda (Beth Broderick) and Aunt Hilda (Caroline Rhea) were the best. If we were hundred year old witches, they would be our BFFs, but we would also be happy just living with them. Aunt Zelda was the voice of reason that Sabrina could rely on for good advice. On the other hand, Aunt Hilda was the fun one who would occasionally use dynamite and rocked the best furry cardigans.

6. Even her problems seemed fun.

Imagine if your only problem was that you turned the most popular girl in your high school into a pineapple. Truthfully, that doesn’t even seem like a problem at all. In fact, it could actually be the opposite of a problem. It certainly sounds a lot better than trying to figure out our taxes, scrape enough money together for rent and try to figure out what the heck a 401k actually is.

7. Sabrina knew how to deal with the haters.

We admired Sabrina because she knew how to deal with the trolls in an effective way that put them in their places without crossing the line into violence or stooping down to their level. She taught evil Libby Chessler (Jenna Leigh Green) a few good lessons using her magic. Remember when she made Libby apply red lipstick all over her face? That was a classic. It put that mean cheerleader in her place.

8. She had the best clothes.

We knew that Sabrina rocked velvet jumpers and mom jeans when we originally watched the show, but rewatching it has given us a newfound appreciation of her style. It was cute, it was fun, and it was trendy without feeling out of reach. We can thank Sabrina for making us love tops with sheer sleeves just a little more.

9. She could get ready so quickly.

Sabrina was the master of a quick change. She simply pointed her (magical) finger at herself and she could change from a cute school outfit to an awesome dress that was going to make Harvey fall even more in love with her.
Sabs didn’t have to spend an entire Saturday morning and afternoon prepping for a date. And she could change her outfits without messing up her hair and makeup. Do you know how much we want to be able to do that?

10. Sabrina got to dance with *NSYNC.

Do we really need to explain this one? It was the noughties and we would have given anything, anything, to dance with Justin Timberlake, J.C. Chasez, Lance Bass…and those other ones. We already knew the dance moves; we just needed someone who knew a magic spell to make the boys appear in our bedroom. If we didn’t like Sabrina so much we would have been super jealous of her for this. You’re all I ever wanted/You’re all I ever needed, yeah/So tell me what to do now/’Cause I want you back/

11. …AND Britney Spears.

When the teenage witch got to dance with Britney Spears, it was almost too much too handle. We so wanted to be Sabrina so we could wear coordinating crop tops with Britney and show off our moves. We were convinced that if we just had a few minutes with Britney, she would realize how cool we were and she would become our best friends. And if we couldn’t wow her with our dance moves, we could show her our magic. How did they get such pop powerhouses on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, anyways?

12. Jenny was an amazing BFF.

Remember Jenny Kelly (Michelle Beaudoin) from season one of Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Of course you do. She had a head full of gorgeous curls and she had a wicked sense of humor that charmed us and Sabrina. Plus, she also totally saw the “popular” girls at Westbridge High School for what they were.

13. …And so was Valerie.

It was with great sadness that Sabrina’s BFF, Jenny, disappeared after season one, but all hope wasn’t lost because then we were treated to Valerie Birkhead (Lindsay Sloane). Valerie — or Val to Sabrina and all of us who pretended to know her well &mdashs; may have lacked Jenny’s DGAF attitude and zingy one-liners, but she was always there for Sabrina. She was also willing to share advice as much as receive it. Remember how she suggested Sabrina wear red to the Valentine’s Day dance?

14. Life was so easy for her.

Yeah, Sabrina the Teenage Witch did have to go to school, deal with bullies and get a part-time job, but she could use magic to help her. How we would have loved a spell to help us pack our suitcases or produce a plate of cookies in the blink of an eye. We wouldn’t even mind if some of the spells went wrong. If a few worked out and we didn’t have to perform the entire job like regular people, we’d be pleased as punch.

15. She had a flying vacuum.

We would have been happy to ride any old broomstick even if that wasn’t what modern witches like Sabrina drove/rode(?). But the idea of riding a flying vacuum? Now that is cool and original. We learned that it isn’t exactly the best thing to do during unfavorable weather conditions, but that’s a small price we’d be willing to pay if we could see the moon up close just by standing on a dusty old hoover.

16. Her last name was Spellman.

Whether you’re a witch or a non-magical person, you have to admit that Spellman is an awesome name. Get it, Spell-man? Spellwoman would also be pretty awesome, too, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well. We also like to think that if we had a last name like Spellman it would somehow translate into giving us magic powers. A girl can dream…

17. She was played by Melissa Joan Hart.

We already loved Melissa Joan Hart thanks to Clarissa. When we found out that she was playing a teenage witch inspired by the Archie comic, we were thrilled. Melissa is one of those people that seems so nice and approachable, and that made us love Sabrina even more. If we cannot be Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s friend, we’d gladly be Melissa’s IRL. Call us, please.

18. She had some epic Halloween celebrations.

When you’re a witch in training and you’re celebrating Halloween with your two eccentric aunts and a 500-year-old warlock that’s trapped in a cat’s body, things are already going to be exciting. Add in some drama about wanting to celebrate with your non-magical boyfriend at a party and some issues with a clone streaking, and you have a Halloween celebration that’s way better than the ones where we wear sweaty plastic masks and eat fun-sized chocolate bars.

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