Being in a relationship is really hard and not for the weak of heart. Being with someone is not as easy as it seems on TV and in romantic comedies. In order for a relationship to work, both people need to be committed and ready. And sometimes things seem to be going well, really well, except for a few little things. Good judgment is also vital. Go with your gut. If something doesn’t seem right with your partner, something probably is wrong.
There are several behaviors and habits that could be warning signs of your relationship failing. Here are 21 red flag warning signs that your relationship is in trouble and you might just want to break up, move on, and find someone better. While these might seem really small — they’re actually big deals. You deserve than this.
1. They’re Complainers
Complaining is a real downer and if your partner complains about every little thing, it’ll get old real fast. “It’s too hot, it’s too cold, I’m bored, blah, blah, blah.” Good luck listening to that for the rest of your life. A good partner is able to adapt easily, go with the flow, and deal with a bad situation with grace and humility.
Every once in a while complaining is fine, but if they’re “a complainer” it won’t work.
2. They Have Poor Communication Skills
A relationship is only as good as its communication. Doing poor in this area is almost a guarantee of breaking up. If your partner won’t talk to you, you guys won’t last. You both need to be able to fully express yourselves and tell each other when you’re unhappy or upset without getting angry. If you’re with a quiet type, they should be able to open up to you or find some way to communicate about issues.
3. You Roll Your Eyes at Them A Lot
Rolling your eyes is somewhat of an involuntary action you do when annoyed. However, it’s also a sign of contempt. If you hold contempt for anyone, voluntary or involuntary, this is a bad omen for even the strongest of relationships. Rethink your future if you find yourself rolling your eyes during disagreements. You may be more upset than you think you are.
4. They Don’t Handle Stress Well
Whether it’s work or family related, a person who doesn’t handle stress of any kind well likely cannot be in a successful long-term relationship. Those are damn hard and become stressful. Good coping skills, patience, and the ability to deal with stress are the signs of a good partner.
5. They’re Rude to Others
This should be a huuuuge red flag. If your partner is rude to people such as servers, hospitality employees, retail workers, or even just strangers, dump them now. You’re with an a**hole. You want a partner who is as kind to others, especially those whose job it is to serve you and honestly deserve to be treated well.
6. They Have Bad Relationship with Family and/or Friends
Both yours and their own. How your partner confronts relationships with others is definitely a factor in their relaysh with you. Anyone who has a poor relationship with close family or can’t keep friends for a long time has a hard time making, and keeping, deep connections. This will also apply to you. You’ve been warned.
7. They Change Jobs Often
Physical contact is so important in a healthy relationship. A partner who isn’t all over you all the time is fine. But if your partner simply doesn’t kiss you often and even shies away from little things like holding your hands or rubbing your back, you may want to rethink your relationship. If you’re not super into physical contact either, then that’s fine — but don’t overlook this if you’re someone who likes to be intimate.
9. You’ve Got Incompatible Habits
So you’re a night owl and your partner likes to get up early. You hate sports and it’s all they want to watch. You’ll work around all that, right? It’s easier said than done. Being with someone who has different habits, likes, and lifestyles may eventually prove to be a bigger problem than you might think at first. They say opposites attract and that is true to some extent… but sometimes people are just too different.
10. There’s Too Much Sex or Not Enough
A healthy sex life that both of you agree on is necessary for success as well. If one of you wants to have sex all the time, and the other doesn’t, your relationship will fail. Finding a balance would be ideal, but you can’t change anyone’s sexual desires or needs. It’s best to part ways sooner than later if this area doesn’t match up and can’t find compromise.
11. They Pick Fights
“Everyone wants a partner who likes to fight,” said no one ever. If your partner is picking little fights or putting you down consistently, dump them… like, yesterday. This is not only a red flag, it should also be a deal breaker. That is hostility and negativity that no one needs.
12. They Have No Hobbies or Interests
Being with someone who has no active hobbies or strong interests will be draining on you. You’ll be their only interest which can be smothering, and quite frankly, annoying. Even if it seems “sweet” at first. Your partner doesn’t need to be away from you multiple nights a week at bar trivia, playing a sport, or hanging with friends, but they should be interested in something other than you.
13. They’re Constantly Negative
A real glass-half-empty person is absolutely no fun to be with. A partner who is never happy and moody will affect you in a bad way, too. You’ll find yourself working around their moods or trying to get them to see a different point of view which isn’t fair to you. Don’t let someone’s negativity bring you down. Unfortunately, staying with someone like this will probably do that.
14. They Avoid Serious Discussions
This goes hand-in-hand with the communication thing. Conflict will arise in any relationship. It’s honestly inevitably. Resolve needs to be a part of the relationship too. If your partner avoids talking about fights and disagreements you’re having, if they don’t want to discuss your future or anything serious really, the two of you won’t last if you’re looking for a lasting love. Unwillingness to have a serious discussion means they don’t really care and are likely not looking to commit the way you are.
15. You Want Different Things
Even if you guys aren’t serious just yet, don’t consider getting serious if you and your partner want vastly different things in life. Things such as marriage, future children, where you want to live, and careers all need to match up if you’re looking to get serious with someone. Don’t hop into a relationship thinking one of you will change your minds. Most likely you won’t, and it’ll be even more heartbreaking if you don’t find this fact out until later.
16. They don’t want you to meet their family
But they’ve met yours. Why aren’t you important enough to meet their parents? What are they hiding? Is it you or them? These are questions you need to ask yourself if you’re at (or past) the family introduction stage and theirs is MIA. You shouldn’t have to ask to meet them, they should want to introduce you.
17. They Took Awhile to Commit
If you guys took a while to DTR, any more commitment will be hard to get. A partner unwilling to be with you right away may not want to be with you long term. It’s something to remember as the relationship progresses and things start to get more serious.
18. They Cheated in the Past
The old saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater” comes to mind. If you know your partner cheated in a past relationship, you can’t be surprised if they cheat on you. Avoid dating cheaters to avoid potential heartbreak.
Also if they’ve ever cheated on you — never take them back. It will happen again.
19. They Drink Too Much
There’s nothing wrong with drinking, but there is something wrong with drinking too much consistently. In fact, it’s not a “little thing.” Especially if your partner isn’t one of those happy, fun drunks. People who drink too much and become angry and unpleasant will only get worse and possibly even become abusive.
20. They’re Immature
Fart jokes and hanging with friends constantly is great and all, but once you become a certain age and have a serious partner to come home to, certain things need to be left behind. Immaturity is a sign that they aren’t ready to be in a relationship. Fart jokes are fine… as long as they know when to put them on the backburner if you need to bitch about work or bring them to a nice event.
21. They Tell White Lies A Lot
White lies will only lead to bigger lies which will only lead to trust issues. And a relationship doesn’t exist without trust. If your partner has tendency to stretch the truth (to anyone), make a note of that and keep an eye on this behavior.