When we got the news yesterday that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson had taken some time apart, we here in the Crushable office were surprised by how upset we were about it. Yeah, we’ve never met Tom and Rita, but they’re one of those couples that makes you believe in love, y’know? I guess we were more invested in them than we thought.
We’ve talked before about couples that we wouldn’t mind breaking up and couples who totally devastated us when they split, but we’ve never before tempted fate by discussing celebrity couples whose breakups would totally destroy us. You know, if they were to break up.
QUICKLY SOMEONE KNOCK ON WOOD. It’s our only chance to keep love alive!
1. Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson
Tom and Rita have been together twenty-six years, and are commonly cited as the rare Hollywood success story. They’re loving and supportive, and goddamnit they just seem like nice people.
2. Ellen Degeneres & Portia De Rossi
There’s been gossip for years now that Portia and Ellen are on the rocks, but I uncharacteristically refuse to believe them. I don’t know if it’s just because people aren’t used to seeing a powerful lesbian couple succeed or because there’s actual truth to the rumors that they’re in trouble, but I’m really hoping it’s the former. I don’t think any of us could handle the latter.
3. John Krasinski & Emily Blunt
Ugh. How many languages can you say ‘adorable’ in? Because we’re gonna need them all to explain this couple. Not only are both halves of this pairing attractive, smart, and savvy, but they’re also effing hilarious. I never would have matched them up in my head, but now that they’re married, I can’t imagine life without them. Oh and their little baby Hazel is the cutest thing ever!
4. Barack & Michelle Obama
Guys, come on! Get on board with me on this one! I feel like we’ve never had a couple in the White House before with such great chemistry and personality evident. I feel like President Obama’s relationship with the First Lady humanizes him in a way I’d have a real problem letting go of.
5. Megan Mullaly & Nick Offerman
Oh my god, these two are obsessed with each other and I never want it to stop. Never before has a couple been able to speak about their love life in such ribald terms and have it not bother me an ounce. Public displays of affection usually strike me as corny and unnecessary, but Megan and Nick are so obviously in love with each other that they could hump on live television and I wouldn’t bat an eye. (Actually, I’m pretty sure that already happened on Parks and Rec, it just wasn’t live.)
6. Pink & Cary Hart
I know that P!nk and Cary have seen their share of troubles, but the way they’ve been so honest and open about it is really inspiring to me. Every relationship goes through rocky patches, but I feel like these two are both so self-aware that they can really get through anything and come out stronger for it. And it doesn’t hurt that their off-times create such great music!
7. Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard
BRB, still need a quick second to decide if I’d rather this couple adopt me or accept me into the fold as their sister wife. Kristen and Dax just seem to have so much respect and love for each other as a couple, while also having a great effing time together as friends. It’s honestly all I want in a relationship. FROM MY LIPS TO GOD’S EARS.
8. Jay Z & Beyonce
See this one is tricky, because even though we all know we should be prepping for it, no one really has been. For as much as I’ve been told over and over again that this marriage was always just a business arrangement, I can’t bear to find out that the look in Bey’s eyes when she gazes at Jay has been nothing but a lie. Lalalalalala I can’t hear you!
9. Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield
Meep! These two are the kind of couple that I’d want to hang out with and do a game night. I feel like they’d be just as comfortable ordering Chinese and scrolling through Netflix as they would be strolling the red carpet. They’re the kind of couple that transitions easily from day to night, like a classic clutch. CLUTCH COUPLE.
10. Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn
An oldie but a goodie! These two have been together since 1983, which is an impressive run by any standards, but particularly in Hollywood. PLUS, they never got married, which I think is a really fun middle finger to convention that I particularly admire. Basically what I’m saying is they’re proof that you don’t have to do what society expects of you, and you can still go through life with your best friend on your arm. What could be better than that?
11. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
They may not have started their relationship in the most traditional of ways, but Brangelina’s commitment to each other as people is pretty awe-inspiring. It feels like they were both in good or even great relationships before, but as soon as they met each other, something clicked and they realized they’d been selling themselves short all their life. Aka I’d be super sad if they ever broke up. As would their six children, come to think of it, but I’m pretty sure my feelings matter more.