16 Reasons Why Blake Shelton Is All Wrong For Gwen Stefani

Gwen Stefani has been cool-girl inspiration for decades. She was a ’90s ska chick who, alongside her No Doubt bandmates, dominated radio with their crossover hit, “Don’t Speak.” Gwen’s charisma, style and unique voice immediately made her a star and put her on inspiration boards everywhere. Her cool factor only got bigger, with the band’s Grammy-winning album, Rock Steady, her multiple fashion lines and solo pursuit, which gave us the greatest gift of the new millennium: “Hollaback Girl.”

There was a hot second where things were quiet on the Gwen front. No Doubt released an OK album in 2012, went on tour and then things quieted back down until Gwen announced her separation from Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale. What we thought was the perfect rock couple was no more.

Enter: Blake Shelton. The two met on The Voice and immediately, Blake and Gwen flirtation rumors began, as the two were going through their divorces from Gavin and Miranda Lambert at the same time. Then, they announced their coupling and everything has just seemed to go downhill from there. Read on to see what we mean…

16. He takes Gwen to the same bars Paul Ryan goes to

This is just a knife in the heart. About a month ago, news popped up that Blake and Gwen were at an Oklahoma bar, hanging out with the one percent’s best friend and subject of the best photo shoot ever taken. We’re talking about grown-up Eddie Munster, Paul Ryan. (OK, he’s also United States House Speaker, but whatever.) While Gwen has never really been a political activist, we can’t really see her being buds with a guy who bends to the will of a giant human pustule. (Also known as our 45th president.) But there she was, at a bar with the same man who wants to take affordable health care away from the impoverished.

15. Gwen is now wearing hunting camouflage

We all know Gwen’s one to rock a good camouflage outfit every once in a while. She typically was able to incorporate just enough to look edgy and not like a model for the Walmart hunting section. Until now. For anyone who follows Gwen’s social media accounts, you will see her in hunting-style camo ALL. THE. TIME. And it’s weird. Is it a fashion statement or is she really chasing after deer in the woods? Did Blake buy these clothes for her and then she felt bad and just wore them? These fashion choices cannot be coming from our Gwen.

14. All Gwen’s new songs are about him and it’s weird

When Gwen announced her next solo album, it was an exciting time. It had been a good ten years since she released The Sweet Escape, so a new solo album was a long-time coming. She had a couple singles like “Baby Don’t Lie” and “Spark the Fire” leading up to it, but she decided to scrap her “curated album” plan and write her own material. Right around this time, she went through her breakup with Gavin. We all know that Gwen writes a killer breakup album. (See: Tragic Kingdom and The Return of Saturn.) While she gave us a solid breakup ballad — “Used to Love You” — the majority of This is What the Truth Feels Like and her Christmas album has Blake all over them.

13. Gwen fans have to suffer through “surprise” Blake appearances during her shows

Gwen’s fans are their own special breed. Unique individualists, they’re a little alternative, a little pop, and carry themselves with a fresh attitude like their role model. Chances are that Gwen Stans aren’t going to be first in line at a Blake Shelton concert. Some may avoid his music at all costs. So when she brings Blake on tour with her, his “surprise” appearances aren’t all that surprising. We bought tickets to see Gwen, not Blake. Nobody asked for this.

12. Blake let her 11-year-old son drive a truck

Raise your hand if you would ever get in a car with an 11 year old. Nobody? Thought so. Blake Shelton, on the other hand, thought this is a *great* idea, letting Gwen’s son Kingston drive a truck around. The world found this out through Gwen’s social media, where she posted a photo of Blake and her son getting the truck stuck in the mud. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET CHILDREN DRIVE. Now Kingston will be stealing mom’s car to go on joyrides to Disneyland. Thanks, Blake.

11. She hangs out in the woods all the time

Fresh air is a wonderful thing, but our Gwen is not Davy Crockett by any means. Since she started dating Blake, she’s shared dozens of photos of the two of them in the Oklahoma woods. (Wearing the previously mentioned camo, obviously.) He’s also trying to get her sons involved in hunting and fishing, despite Gwen adhering to a vegan diet. Apparently, this has been a contentious point in their relationship, if the tabloids are to be believed.

10. Their social media avatars are often each other and it’s CONFUSING

God, we get it. You like each other. For nearly two years, we’ve been forced to watch this romance parade on magazines, social media, Christmas specials, concerts, on The Voice, on and on and on. They could at least let us look at their actual faces on their social media avatars. Every once in a while, I’ll scroll through Twitter and ask myself “Why the HELL am I following Blake Shelton!?” Then I remember how we’re being forced to watch this lovefest unfold and am both relieved and annoyed at the same time.

9. He *might* be a cheater

What’s that saying? Once a cheater always a cheater? Before he met Miranda Lambert, Blake was married to longtime love, Kaynette. The two tied the knot in 2003 and divorced in 2006, just one year after Blake and Miranda met. Curious. That’s when the cheating rumors started and they just became bigger and bigger tabloid fodder after Miranda and Blake got married. When the two announced their divorce, of course rumors of Blake’s alleged infidelity were all over. Now he’s facing the same rumor cycle with Gwen.

8. She thinks his Sexiest Man Alive cover is well deserved

While we were all hoping for an Idris Elba Sexiest Man cover, People magazine had different ideas and it was **controversial**. The official magazine of doctors’ offices across America chose Blake Shelton to be their sexiest man. Huh? Did Gwen pay them? Did The Voice pay them? Who was behind this particular decision, because we need some answers. What we do know is that she was a big influence. When People approached him with the honor, Gwen cheered him on, saying he should “totally do it.”

7. He wants the Orange County Girl to move to Oklahoma

It’s no secret that Gwen LOVES California. She grew up in Orange County and has referenced her time in Anaheim throughout her career. You can find California love in almost every piece of her work, from Tragic Kingdom to her song, “Orange County Girl.” Currently, California is Gwen’s home, but Blake is looking to change that. Rumor has it that he’s been pressuring her to move to Oklahoma, his home state. It looks like it may happen, as she spent a good portion of the holidays there and will pop into his town frequently.

6. She wears shoes with his face on them

Vans has been an iconic shoe brand since 1966. Like Gwen, its beginnings are rooted in Anaheim. So it’s natural that Gwen is a Vans fan. EXCEPT, she decided to deface a perfectly good pair of checkered Vans slip-ons with Blake’s mug. Yes, his mug is plastered on her Vans and it’s weird as hell. We get it, Gwen. You like your boyfriend. You don’t have to literally wear him. Who at Vans HQ let this happen? We need to have a talk.

5. He was in her Christmas special

AS WE MENTIONED PREVIOUSLY, Gwen fans purchase concert tickets and tune into TV appearances to see Gwen’s spunky personality and unique pop songs. We’re not looking for performances or appearances by country stars. We want Gwen and Gwen only. We want to watch Gwen perform and listen to her new music. Every moment with Gwen is precious time, which is why we don’t have time for a Blake appearance.

4. He bought them matching denim jackets

Listen, guys. Britney and Justin already did this. Katy Perry recreated this. It’s been done. We don’t need any more celebrity couples wearing matching denim. But Blake went ahead and did it anyway. Apparently, he likes a certain denim designer so much that he commissioned them to create matching jean jackets for him and Gwen to wear. It’s *kind of* cute in a way, but there’s too much codependency in this relationship for comfort.

3. He almost burned her house down when he cooked dinner

What a way to spend your first holiday together. In 2016, Gwen and Blake had their first Christmas as a SeRiOuS cOuPlE. And Blake almost burned down the house. Apparently, he was cooking a turkey in a smoker and when he went to check on it, the whole thing was in flames. Not the greatest holiday tradition to start, but at least it makes for a good story? Luckily, nobody was hurt and the turkey was salvaged.

2. Her sons are dressing like him

One of the perks of being Gwen Stefani’s child is having cool-as-hell style. Until Blake Shelton comes along. These kids had THE picture-perfect fashion role model, giving them a mega edge on the playground. But now that Blake’s in the picture, they’re dressing in hunting chic, just like their mom. Also, what’s Gavin been doing? Can’t he teach them how to dress like a rock star?

1. They have a makeout playlist… and the music’s not very good

On the one hand, good for them. On the other hand, we don’t need to imagine Gwen and Blake getting handsy with each other. It’s just too much. The two are so into TMI that after a contestant on The Voice performed “I Want to Know What Love Is,” Gwen had to announce to the world that the song is on her makeout playlist. For someone as unique as Gwen, we’d expect a song that’s a little… better? Sorry guys!

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