I’m not going to beat around the bush or be cute about this: There’s a man in Queens who drinks breast milk as an energy drink.
Babies drink it for free, but this man, Anthony, buys it for about $2.50 an ounce on sites like Only the Breast. Anthony from Queens isn’t the only man who drinks breast milk. Apparently there’s a whole community of them and they aren’t just imaginary characters from Ryan Murphy’s television programs.
I was under the impression that all adult gentlemen who imbibed breast milk were sexual fetishists. Some of them, but not all of them are kinksters. A number of these guys have less perverse reasons for their babyish habit. One man even drank it to help keep weight on while he was undergoing chemotherapy. His anecdote made me question how judgmental I was being about adults buying and consuming something I think should be shared pro bono with babies. Then I came to my senses and realized that most of the dudes guzzling breast milk aren’t fighting cancer; they’re just weirdos.
Here are some of the creepiest quotes from three of the men who spoke with New York Magazine–
From the athlete:
It’s better than 5-hour energy drinks.
“It gives me incredible energy I don’t get from other food and drinks.”
He pays a pretty penny for it.
“I always compensate the women I buy from…And pretty nicely, too.”
His body is a temple.
“I don’t believe in steroids or other energy supplements, none of that garbage,”
I think he’s confusing moms looking to “get rid” of breast milk and moms who need money, but okay.
“I want natural stuff that’s God-given, and if it’s okay with moms looking to get rid of it, I’ll take it.”
From the father of four:
After the birth of his first son, he had an epiphany.
“It occurred to me that breast milk could be just as healthy and tasteful for adults as infants,”
Apparently breast milk has magical properties.
“I believe it has kept me from getting sick all these years.”
At least he’s careful about the human milk he’s purchasing.
“I screen the producers by getting their medical records, and I meet them in person to make sure they don’t have needle marks…I will not buy via mail, UPS, or FedEx.”
From the kinky guy “seeking breast milk from healthy, non-smoking mom.”:
I hate to judge people for their kinks.
“All I’ll say is it’s a fetish for me”
That’s all you need to say.
Make sure you read the original piece from New York Magazine for more titillating information on adult human men who drink breast milk.